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I may not look like it to you, but although I seem to look a lot like Gwyneth Paltrow and people are calling me by that name, I can assure you Tom Hanks resides within this... interesting... body! Everyone here seems to be alive and well even if displaced as another person. Lets try and figure out what happened to us and see what we can do to fix it!"A fat man in a black tux waddled up the stage steps. "What happened to us is that we all wound up inside the wrong bodies, you dolt! It's like some horrid sci-fi movie, only it's all too real, and we are all starring in it! You got my beautiful girlish body while I got stuck with this ugly blob of a body." Holding back tears the former Gwyneth Paltrow asked, "What I want to know is how do we all change back into our rightful bodies? Does anyone have an answer to that?"The voice of a teenage intern sounded through the speakers. "I think I can help you with that question. By the way, I'm the director... I'm switching to a network feed onto. " As do I. Come then. It's called a bathroom."I followed him through the bedroom and he opened the other door. I looked in amazement. It was all a smooth, creamy white stone. There was a huge bathtub with golden handles and a strange closet made of glass. And wonder of wonders, a flush toilet. I'd heard of them but never used one. And next to it, the strangest toilet I've seen. It had no seat, just a hard rim.He saw my gaze. "It's called a bidet and you will learn to use it." He walked to the toilet, dropped his pants and sat. I looked on, shocked as he shat and peed right in front of me. When he was done, he wiped himself from a roll of paper mounted on the wall and flushed."Your turn, slave." Mortified, I sat on the smooth cool seat and went. I used the paper to clean myself. He led me into the bedroom."When did your blood last flow?"Now I was really shocked. Men never talked of it. "I stopped 3 days ago, Master." Good, then I won't need a condom for a few more days."My face got.
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